my mouth tastes like poor choices
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
