Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
