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the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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