my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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