He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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