you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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