We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
