shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
