No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
