i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
