I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
