Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it hurts more in the daytime
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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