Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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