2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
