i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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