stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
