Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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