Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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