yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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