She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
