Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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