do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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