Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize