I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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