Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
