yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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