You're my little dorito
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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