shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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