whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
