Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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