I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
