break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
