Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
