If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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