Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
