he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
