HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
