i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
