I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
