dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
