why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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