It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
