Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
