he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
