i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
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perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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