Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
