Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
