and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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