Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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