id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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