That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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