Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
