I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize