please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
id be glad to
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
