I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
