Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
