dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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