hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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