I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
