Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
