If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize