dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
