Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
