Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
