i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
