fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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